Feelings never expressed
by TheUnitaryHawk
Summary: The Recon Corps is suspended, the city is safe, it's back to normal life for Eren and Mikasa, but normal life involves feelings that they have never shown or told to each other.
1. The Beginning of Normal

Eren and Mikasa walked down a hallway, Mikasa laughed harder with every joke, talked more with every second; she just enjoyed having Eren all to herself.

"Eren, Mikasa!" Shouted out a familiar voice

"Huh?" Eren questioned as he turned around

"Hello Armin" Mikasa said rather coldly

Armin joined Eren and Mikasa as they slowly walked down the hallway. They joked, laughed, talked and whispered. _Just like old times_ Eren thought as they continued. Armin left soon after; he was summoned to the Recon Corps for some reason

"Hey Mikasa?" Eren asked with a slight tinge of anger.

"Yes Eren?" Mikasa replied noticing that Eren had changed his mood.

"Why were you angry when Armin came?"

"Well….Uhm…" Thoughts evaded Mikasa as she became visibly flustered. She pulled up her scarf to cover her face. _What do I do? What can I say? I just want Eren to be mine._ _Right, I'll tell him. _Mikasa decided as they sat down.

"Eren, it's because I…" Levi suddenly appeared out of nowhere.  
>"Jaeger, Meeting, Recon Corps now." Levi was noticeably scruffier than usual.<p>

"Ackerman, you too." Levi smirked as he knew what he had barged into. They followed him to the meeting room of the Recon Corps. Commander Erwin was sitting down, with Hange, Sasha, Connie, Jean, Armin and some other members.

"The Recon Corps has been suspended." Erwin began the conversation bluntly and quickly.

"WHAT?" Eren shouted as he jolted up.

"There's been more controversy. It seems the Military Police does not agree with our ways of dealing with the female titan." Erwin continued.

"I thought that had been dropped." Eren weakly replied.

"Yes, well the Military Police framed us, well, they framed Levi and I and because of that our leadership of this branch has been suspended and since we don't have a replacement our branch has been suspended, along with the expedition." Erwin boomed.

"Dismissed" Levi said as he walked off.

Erwin and Levi walked off and left Eren, Mikasa and the others dumbfounded in the room.

"I can't believe this…" Eren mustered up weakly after a few seconds of silence.

"At least we have some time for ourselves" Said Connie. "I'm off then."  
>"Same here, I can at least shine up on some skills" Jean announced as he left. One by one people left until no-one but Armin, Mikasa and Eren were left.<p>

"Well, you guys want to grab something to eat?" Eren questioned.

"Sorry Eren, I'm kind of busy." Armin replied

"That's too bad Armin, well I guess Mikasa and I will get something to eat then, goodbye!" And with that Armin, Eren and Mikasa left the room.

_~AUTHORS NOTE AND OTHER MISC STUFF.~  
><em>_What did you think of the first ever fanfiction I've ever written. Also Yes I write Levi not "Rivaille" and Jaeger not "Yaeger" I just like the former better than the latter._


	2. Questions with Difficult Answers

_Come on Mikasa, just tell Eren. Just admit it. _Mikasa thought as she walked down to the cafeteria with Eren. _He will understand even if he doesn't feel the same way. I hope._ Mikasa reasoned with herself as they continued walking.

"Mikasa? Your face is growing red." Eren blurted out

"What?" Mikasa jolted back to reality and pulled up her scarf to cover her blushing face.

_What's wrong with Mikasa today? She seems….Distracted_. Eren pondered as they entered the cafeteria. _And why does she look so…vulnerable?_ Eren danced with these thoughts for a while and Mikasa went to go get them some food. _She's just so…cute. Wait, why am I thinking this? I shouldn't be thinki-_

"Eren?" Mikasa interjected. She sat down with a few pieces of bread, some fruit and water. The cafeteria was filled with other people casually eating, talking and laughing. They started chowing down on the food that Mikasa had gotten. Both of them sat there eating in complete silence, letting their thoughts take over. _Fine, I'll tell Eren, or I'll ask him, I just need an answer_.

"Eren can I ask you something?"  
>"Sure"<p>

"What do you think of me?" Silence fell upon them. No-one spoke a word as they continued eating, not even when they left. They split up, each of them continued with their own lives for the rest of the day.

_Why couldn't I answer? Why couldn't I even look at her after she asked me that question?_ Eren thought to himself while he was lying on his bed._ Are there things I don't want to say? Or are there things that I can't say? Do I really need Mikasa? Is she important to me? What are the answers to these questions? Oh well, I should leave these questions for tomorrow. _Eren concluded as he drifted off to sleep. Meanwhile Mikasa was having the same problem. _Why didn't Eren answer? I really hoped that Eren would answer. What if he doesn't need me anymore? I hope that isn't true._ Mikasa toiled over these thoughts but eventually gave up on finding answers and fell asleep.

The relationship between Eren and Mikasa changed after that. They were colder to each other, they barely spoke. They barely acknowledged each other. Armin was worried for the two but barely did anything. After a few days Eren and Mikasa both knew that had to address what was going on but never did. They only met when Eren was sleeping in a bright field littered with flowers. The sun was shining brightly and Eren was sleeping in the shade of a massive tree. Mikasa noticed him sleeping there and slowly trudged towards him. Her dark hair fluttered in the breeze and her mouth curled into a small smile as she got closer to Eren. She adored the scruffy look of Eren.

"Eren?" Mikasa tentatively asked as she lowered herself to be sitting next to Eren.

"Huh? Oh hey Mikasa" Eren responded as he sat up and leant on the hard bark of the tree.

"Eren I'm going demand an answer"

"Ok"

"Do you love me?" Mikasa asked staring Eren straight in the eye and holding his hand, slightly caressing it.

"Do I have to answer that?" Eren answered looking back at Mikasa staring at her jet black hair and her lovely crystal-like eyes. He was drawn aback by a tear rolling down Mikasa's cheek and dropping to the blades of grass of the earth.

"I'll give you a real answer then" Eren continued staring at Mikasa, reminiscing about all the times they shared and took a deep breath. _Here goes nothing. _Eren thought.

_~AUTHORS NOTE AND OTHER STUFF~ _

Thanks for reading. Even though not many people are reading I just like writing these. Also my story progresses rather slow compared to other ones I've read. Thanks for dealing with all my crap. Really clunky writing, but I've never written one of these things. Also they may make no sense. Reviews and criticism accepted :D


	3. The Question's Answers

"I don't know." Eren finished. To Mikasa it was almost like the sun had finished shining and the wind had finished blowing and the grass had finished living. A tear turned into many as she collapsed against the tree with the scarf covering her face like she was wishing she could be hidden forever.

"I'm sorry Mikasa, it's just that I never know what I want unless it's perfectly clear." Eren explained "And I'm just too scared." That sentence shocked Mikasa to the core. _Eren is never stopped by fear. What's so bad about it this time?_

"I'm afraid of the titans, I'm afraid of the government, I'm afraid of losing you and I'm afraid of something I feel for you." Eren admitted. Mikasa's eyes started welling up with more tears; her black hair was ruffled with the many times she had run her hands through it.

"It's okay Eren, just please know that I'll always be here." Mikasa whispered as she stood up, wiped her eyes and stormed off. _I'm sorry Mikasa, I'm really and truly sorry._ Eren thought as he let himself drift to sleep.

"Mikasa?" Armin asked as Mikasa stormed right past him and he sprinted to keep up. _Is she ok? What is wrong with her?_

"MIKASA!"

"Huh? Oh, hello Armin"

Mikasa's black hair was ruffled, tears rolling down her eyes staining the crimson red scarf on her neck.

"Come sit down Mikasa." Armin suggested as he sat down on the green grass and looking at the beautiful view of the village, Mikasa followed and collapsed to the ground and rubbed her tears and covered her face with her scarf.

"I'm fine Armin." She lied. She stared at the lovely blue sky and seemed more out of it with every breath. She was still running with tears and shaking and quivering with each breath.

"I know you're not, Mikasa, nothing could ever break you, what's happened?" Armin questioned "Was it Eren?" Armin guessed and with the way Mikasa's face scrunched up and her fists punching the ground, he knew he was right. _What could Eren have done to make Mikasa this angry? Eren what have you landed yourself into this time._ Mikasa couldn't say anything, she was completely gone and dancing with her own thoughts as she stood up and stumbled around towards the girls dorms and left Armin sitting there staring at her as she left. _Eren, I hope you had a good reason for making Mikasa suffer like this._

Neither Mikasa nor Eren could sleep that night. Eren was too busy trying to unravel his feelings and Mikasa was trying to control her feelings. _Do I really love Mikasa? Yes, but is it in *that* way? I DON'T KNOW. WHY DON'T I KNOW… Can I just tell Mikasa? I should tell Mikasa how I feel. I really should. Ugh, I should just take a walk to clear my head. _Eren got out of his bed and began walking to leave the building. He breathed in the sharp, cold air of the night. He stared at the millions of stars and hoped for Mikasa to forgive him.

"If only I could tell Mikasa how I actually feel." Eren muttered to himself.

"She's just so beautiful" Eren continued out loud. He let out a deep breath.

"She is someone I should never let go. I love her, that's what I should've told her instead of I don't know.

"Eren?"

"What?" A surprised Eren responded. He turned around and saw Mikasa standing there in her night gear; her black hair shining in the light of the moon and her eyes the same dull grey colour it had been since their first meeting today.

-_AUTHORS NOTE AND OTHER STUFF. AGAIN-_

Ok, the reviews for this have been pretty surprising. I just thought this would be a small thing that would last about 2 days but it's gone pretty well. Sorry for the delay on this chapter, my wifi just exploded on me so I wrote a few more chapters while it was getting fixed. This chapter does speed some stuff up because having more than 3 chapters in a romantic fanfiction without romance feels bad. Anyway, thanks for reading :D


	4. Confessions

"So I guess you heard me?"

"Heard what? I only just walked outside and saw you so I just came over." Lied Mikasa, her face shining a crimson red, almost as red as the scarf currently covering her shining red cheeks. Eren stood up and stared Mikasa straight in the eyes, grabbing her hands and running his fingers over them.

"Mikasa? I have an answer for you." As he let go of her hands, he put his right hand over his heart like he was saluting.

"What is it then?" Mikasa asked getting more and more flustered and looking at Eren's face glistening in the night.

"Yes Mikasa, I do love you. You're beautiful, strong and amazing and I hope you never leave me." Eren concluded.

"We went through hell together and I want to go through life together."

"Eren!" Mikasa exclaimed a smile plastered onto her face  
>"Thank you Eren, Thank you." Tears dripping down her eyes, with her hair covering much of her face; she threw her arms around him, pulling him in tight like everything in the world depended on it. And to her, everything did.<p>

"Mikasa, I can barely breathe" Eren complained but Mikasa just wouldn't let go of Eren. Eren eventually gave in and hugged her back and they sat there for a while, like they were suspended in space and time. His hands ran through her hair and her hands clutched onto his hair like everything depended on it. She savoured every single moment, all of the build-up since their first meeting. All these feelings that were never said were all expelled in one single hug.

"I better go to bed" Mikasa eventually whispered as she pulled away.

"Me too" Eren whispered back. They both turned and walked back to their own dorms; both of them content with what happened that night. Their problems were gone and they had one of the best sleeps of their lives.

Eren stretched his arms giving out a colossal yawn as he sat upright in his bed with the sun gleaming through the shutters on the window. _Oh, that was just a dream? Couldn't be… Oh well, can't do anything sitting in bed._ Eren thought as he cleaned himself up. Armin was doing the same thing as he started brushing his teeth.  
>"Oh hey Eren, why are you up so early?" Armin managed through the froth in his mouse.<p>

"I don't know just am." Eren answered as he started brushing his teeth.

"Oh yeah Commander Erwin and Captain Levi were cleared of all charges, they told me last night but you were gone." Armin informed Eren as he finished up.

"Really? Does that-"  
>"Yes it means more missions Eren."<p>

"YES! I can finally figure out what's with my titan powers"

"But what about Mikasa? What if one of you dies." Armin asked with a worried look on his face  
>"Armin, Mikasa is an elite, she can't die. I'm usually in Levi's squad to stop me from rampaging and with Levi there I'll be alright."<p>

"Glad to hear that Jaeger, but you're not going." Levi butted in whilst standing at the door

"It's time to get prepared for the next expedition, Arlert you know the drill."

"Yes sir" Armin answered saluting. "See ya Eren." Armin said as he and Levi exited the door and walked towards the recon corps building. _How does Levi constantly butt in, in my conversations?! Why am I not going on the mission? Why? My powers can help them but they choose not to use it?_

"Good morning Eren" greeted a familiar voice.

_- AUTHORS NOTE AND OTHER STUFF -_

Thanks for reading, like usual, but stuff has actually happened. In writing this is called "progression" apparently. I'm terrible with progression, I cut out an entire chapter because nothing happened. The next chapter is rather wordy because it's just Mikasa and Eren talking in the room. But, thanks for the support and also thanks for the positive reviews. If this continues do you want Levi constantly butting in to be a running joke? Because it's going to happen around 2 more times after this, if what I have in my brain gets planned. Happy reading (and possible waiting for another chapter if my wifi just craps out on itself again)


	5. A New Problem Arises

"Oh hey Mikasa" Eren replied as he quickly finished brushing his teeth.

"Why do you look so down?" Mikasa inquired as she checked herself in the mirror. _Perfect as always_, Eren thought as he stared at Mikasa. She noticed and stared back at Eren who was still was wearing his night gear.  
>"Can you answer the question?" Mikasa nagged as she shut the door to the dorm room. She sat down on Armin's bed and looked around. The room was quite old with wooden walls and only 2 averagely sized windows next to each of the beds, a desk placed on the wall opposite of the door and the bathroom in a small cut off section next to the door.<p>

"Well, I can't go on the next mission." Eren sighed. He was desperately looking forward to it, he wanted answers and the more missions he went on the closer he was to finding answers.

"Look Eren, you finally have some time to calm down and live for a while free of danger, savour it."

"I can't there are too many people that will lose their lives if I don't join the mission."  
>"You will be one of those many people if you do join"<p>

"You think I'm a burden?" Eren yelled as his anger grew and grew

"No, I think you're a target." Mikasa replied calmly. "There will be too many titans that will want you dead, who knows if another like Annie is out there."

"But what if there isn't? We can return to Shiganshina if there are no others!"

"Look, Eren, look at me." Mikasa whispered as she grabbed his hand and stared him straight in the eyes. _Those eyes are beautiful. Eren, I hope you understand why I want you to stay. That messy brown hair is something I've always loved._

"Eren, please don't leave me, please never leave me."

"Mikasa…I have to go! Those people will be dying for me."

"Eren, people die every day and they aren't dying for you. They're dying for the future, they could care less about you."

"But, I can help them make the future"

"They still won't care Eren, you're just a tool in their eyes."

"But…"  
>"You're always doing this Eren, stop making yourself so important."<p>

"I can help and I will help!"  
>"EREN!" Mikasa yelled as she stood up.<p>

"What?"

"Shut up and stay here."

"What?

"Please just stay here, just for once don't try to join the mission."

MEANWHILE AT THE RECON CORPS

"That's why we can't tell Jaeger. I guess that works" Levi was talking to Commander Erwin, Armin and other tacticians of the Recon Corps.

"It's kind of strange you know Captain, Eren hasn't come barging into the room."  
>"Now that you mention it, yes it was. He accepted it without any problems." Levi responded.<p>

"So it's settled then, we bring Ackerman with us on this expedition?" Erwin asked the group.

"Yeah we should"

"She is a great fighter" Everyone else agreed but Armin just couldn't. He really and truly believed that Mikasa couldn't do anything on the mission.  
>"There's one problem commander. If Mikasa goes then Eren will want to go, he doesn't like being separated from her." Reasoned Armin. "If Eren wants to go he must be rejected which won't be a pretty sight."<p>

"That's a good point. We've got the Elite of the Recon Corps so Ackerman might not even be that useful" Erwin thought out loud. "I'll get her myself if I decide to have her on the mission, but for now-"

"Dismissed" Levi interrupted.

* * *

><p>Authors note and other excuses for late updates etc<p>

REMEMBER THIS THING? YEAH IT STILL EXISTS, IT'S BEEN LIKE A MONTH BUT IT STILL EXISTS. This will be extremely slow updates in the near future because of family stuff during the holidays. Exams are all over and stuff and I'm free for 2 months. But seriously, this chapter was extremely rushed. I finished exams and just forgot about this for a while as I caught up with some other anime (Clannad, Toradora, SAO, Log Horizon etc) but I just remembered this yesterday so sorry if this chapter is horrible.


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